Tuesday, November 16, 2010


Since the end of August life has been a little crazy. I got my bottom wisdom teeth taken out and a few days later went to Virginia where I worked for almost two months. During that time my mother was diagnosed with leukemia and spent a month in the hospital. But God proved His trustworthiness over and over, giving me His strength when I had none of my own. I literally had nothing else to rely on, and God came through every time. It sounds cliche until you experience it.

I have new questions floating around in my head. How to live in this world without pounding one's feelings into a rock to avoid emotional breakdowns when you're surrounded by difficult situations. How to survive as an introvert when you retreat into that cave in your mind to get by and it turns into pride. How to reconnect with a part of yourself locked behind a wall without letting out a victim, if it should be done at all. How many second and third and fourth chances to give people who make no effort to keep in touch or know you and then act like they have any business pretending to care about your life when you see them. And my view of God is being challenged as I read and compare the old testament and the new.

The rest of this post is about books and movies.

I read Tolkien's The Children of Húrin over the past month. It's definitely not for everyone. It's the tale of a family who fails to escape the tragedy that follows them everywhere under the curse of Morgoth. But it's a beautiful and delicate piece of fiction that I want to read again in the future. The only thing I dislike is an act that seemed out-of-character for the protagonist.

I'm now reading The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss. Oh, the prose in this book! It does drag sometimes but there are absolutely delicious sections. One of my favorites I read yesterday is this:

"And then there was Abenthy, my first real teacher. He taught me more than all the others set end to end. If not for him, I would never have become the man I am today.
I ask that you not hold it against him. He meant well."

Granted, I am a rather peculiar person, compared to most of the other people I've met, so it's quite possible no one outside of my writers' group would like it. But it does for me what cups of tea or high-quality chocolates or Beethoven or sports cars do for other people. Same goes for parts of The Children of Húrin (like, most of the first half or so).

I watched Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon for the first time the other day. When I started it, the dialogue was all in English, which confused me a bit because I thought it was in Mandarin. It matched up well with their mouth movements. But the voices and the body language were like cats and dogs. So I went to the menu and, thank goodness, there was an option to switch to Mandarin. Asian movies with English dubbing don't work for me at all (unless they're cheesy Jackie Chan movies, and then it adds to the effect they have in the first place). It throws off the...mood, artistic value, whatever you want to call it, so I watched it in Mandarin with English subtitles. That was more like it! There are a few iffy scenes but it was a good movie overall. To me it was an example of how pride can ruin your life and those around you. I find it so odd how America, a nation founded on Christianity, has fewer morals in the majority of their modern films than China. Anyway, I liked it enough to buy it so I bought a gently used copy off Amazon for $3.

I got another book today - 'Til We Have Faces by C. S. Lewis. I might read it after The Name of the Wind, or I might read Blink of an Eye by Ted Dekker, or try to finish Green.

I discovered a band last week the sound of which I really like. This is my favorite song of theirs so far.

Monday, November 15, 2010

I'm not giving up my blog forever, but I have a lot of things to think through right now. I'll hopefully resume posting in the not-too-distant future.