Wednesday, July 14, 2010


I can't speak - oh, this song is so pretty. Have a listen.

Anyway, I can't speak (well, write) on trusting humans, because I don't do that much on any deep level. For one thing, I'm practically a hermit, which limits the opportunities, and for another, three of the people I trusted more than anyone else in the world betrayed that trust rather drastically at different times, so I haven't decided how much trust is wise to place in humans. But I have learned that trust in God is one of the most beautiful and freeing things in the universe.

2009 was the best year of my life thus far (2010 might give it a run for its money), in part because during it I went through the darkest period of my life in which I entirely lost hope in certain things for a while. I was just waiting to die (for various reasons I didn't consider suicide). When I made it through that, I came to trust God on a level I'd never experienced before. I'd been through a deeper valley than any in my history, and He'd led me out of it, though I was blind to His hand as I walked through (which felt more like lying in the mud at the time). After that, there's nothing I don't know He'll get me through, whether it happens the way I expect or not. I cannot express how much His trustworthiness means to me. It's my rock. It relieves worry and brings strength. Sure, I knew I could trust God before, but there's nothing like having that trust solidified and then really experiencing it through everything that happens, good and bad. It's like the difference between being told God loves you and actually experiencing that love. It's a drastic, life-changing difference.

At times we think our worry is justified, but it's not. The Bible specifically says,
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God (Philippians 4:6)." It sounds cliche, but we can trust God through everything, no matter how dark, 100%. Trusting God has changed our relationship every day, not just when I'm having a hard time. It's deepened my love for Him and helped me even more to see Him as a real person rather than a cloud looking down on me from afar. ;) It's not something you can be told how to do. Trust builds the more you get to know a person. It's the same with God, but unlike everyone else, He will never, ever let you down. His answers to your questions and requests may not be what you hope for, but He knows better than to do everything we think He should. Peace comes with trust, peace in accepting His answers (or lack thereof).

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